The Marauders Meet Their Matches
by mrsProbie
Summary: AU. The Marauders are in a foreign exchange program with Harpeth Academy- a modern high-school-esque American wizarding school. Year is 2009. Marauders are in fifth year. High schoolers are in sophomore year. Only slightly Crack!ish. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Marauders' POV**

For James Potter, it was definitely one of those horrible days. Lily had rejected him (again), and to add insult to… insult, she had gotten a new boyfriend. That was the only reason he'd signed up for the exchange student program. To get away from all this drama and try to get over Lily, who would probably never even consider dating him. Strike out probably, and put never.

For Sirius Black, it was definitely one of those really horrible days. James had been rejected by Lily (again), and was using the exchange student program as a way to escape Hogwarts, and had of course conned Sirius into going with him, with the promise of 'hot American babes with motorcycles.'

For Remus Lupin, it was most definitely a horrible day. The day after the final transformation from the full moon was always the worst, and this was no exception. Add to that the fact that he felt obliged to follow his friends to America for an exchange student trip (just to make sure they didn't break any laws and become public enemies), his day was pretty crappy.

Peter Pettigrew probably had the worst day of all the Marauders. He'd tried to sign up for the exchange student program, but his marks hadn't been quite high enough to allow him to go.

James, Sirius, and Remus were leaving for America, to a small town called Kingston Springs, in a state called Tennessee, the next day. They were busy packing their bags as Peter watched sadly.

"Who else is going? I got a list," Sirius said, "but I lost it."

"I still have mine," Remus replied. "Me, you, James, Lily—"

"Lily's going?" James asked. "I mean, not that I'm not over her. I just- yeah. I'll just shut up now."

Remus rolled his eyes and continued. "Bellatrix—"

"Ew," Sirius said, scrunching his face in disgust. "I hate her! Crazy bitch."

"Lucius- don't interrupt, Sirius- and Narcissa."

"Am I allowed to complain now?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, complain all you like," Remus allowed.

"All right, in my opinion, Bellatrix is completely insane. I swear one day she'll kill me. And I'll bet she'll be laughing while she does."

"Hundred galleons she'll be dancing, too," James offered.

"You're on."

"I wish I could go," Peter said dejectedly. "It seems like you guys will have plenty of fun without me."

"No, we won't," Remus said.

Of course we will, Sirius thought. Out loud. James raised an eyebrow at him. "I was joking," he said in defense.

And they laughed.

And they slept soundly until morning, when the Marauders, minus Peter, left bright and early for the Great Hall. They ate breakfast and, at eight-o-clock sharp, boarded the Hogwarts Express to leave for the airport in London.

"Are we about there?" Sirius asked for what seemed to Remus the millionth time.

"Almost," Remus said. Almost immediately after he said this, the plane began to descend, and Sirius pointed to the Nashville landing lane.

"We're landing! We're landing!" Sirius shouted, much to the irritation of the passengers around him.

"That was my ear! That was my ear!" James yelled back, even louder than Sirius had. Remus rolled his eyes and hushed them, and the flight attendant glared at the two loud boys. Sirius winked at her and smiled. She blushed a deep shade of red and didn't look in their direction until the plane had landed and they were getting off the plane.

"I wish I had that effect on women, Sirius," Remus said.

"What effect?"

"Don't act cute!"

"Who's acting?" Sirius asked.

Remus just rolled his eyes- Sirius made him do that quite often, he'd noticed.

**Chicks' POV**

"Hey, Rachel!" Lydia said. "Guess what!"

"Oh, God. What?"

"Exchange students! From England!"

Rachel started smiling. "This should be interesting. Wonder if they're hot."

"I hope so. All but three of them are guys. I have the list of names somewhere in here," Lydia said, digging through her purse.

"You have one of everything in that purse!" Katie said. "What are you looking for, anyways?"

"A list of exchange students from England."

"You mean them?" Katie said, pointing at a group of three students standing in front of the office door. "Oh, that one's hot. And so is that one! Be right back." She skipped up to the students, and Lydia began to call after her, but just shrugged and followed to watch what was sure to be an interesting show.

"Hi! I'm vice president of the student council here. It's my job to show you around!" An auburn-haired boy with amber eyes shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"Really? Because they didn't tell us anything about—"

"Really. Our school's not exactly the best when it comes to communication."

"Wonder why," Rachel muttered.

"Because we can't afford it," Lydia added.

"You see, we have a poor school," Katie said.

"How poor can they be, if they can afford hot babes," a black-haired boy with silver eyes asked, raising his eyebrows at Rachel. Lydia snickered and looked over to Katie, wondering why she wasn't laughing as well.

She followed Katie's gaze to another group of students. "Katie, what are you staring at?"

"Mr. My Future Husband," she replied simply.

"Interesting name. You don't think he's dating either of those girls?"

"Nah, they're too ugly for him," the guy that hit on Rachel said. "You don't honestly consider him… date-worthy. Or attractive in any way. Do you?"

Katie walked over to the group without answering, and Lydia replied for her. "I think she does. By the way, what are your names? She isn't really the vice president, in case you can't tell."

"She's a good actress," the other black-haired guy said.

"We tried to convince her to go out for Drama, but she refused."

"How could she refuse Drama club with talent like that?"

"She said, and I quote, 'Too much drama.'"

"Ah. That can sometimes be a problem in Drama. Too much drama."

"Your names?" Rachel asked, interrupting any further discussion on drama.

"Remus Lupin," said the brown-haired one.

"Sirius Black," offered the one that had hit on Rachel.

We looked to the other boy, but he was too busy staring at Katie to realize that we were expecting a reply.

"That's James Potter," Remus said, "and I think he's found a new crush."

"Great. Hopefully it's not another Lily," Sirius muttered.

"Hey, James," Rachel said, poking his shoulder. "Her name's Katie."

"Erm… thanks. Yeah. I'll just…" he pointed to her and slid off in that direction.

"Is he always like that?" Lydia asked.

"Only when discussing a girl he considers the love of his life," Sirius replied.

"Does… that happen often?" Rachel asked.

"Not as often as with this one," Remus said, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "He's a real player."

"Does player mean man-whore?" Lydia asked.

"Is that an insult?" Sirius demanded.

"No, it's an honest question."

"In that case, yes. Yes it does."

"Well, then, Rachel. You two are a perfect match. I'll just be going now before you hit me. Ah, too late." Lydia half-walked, half-ran over to Katie, and Remus followed, effectively leaving Rachel and Sirius alone.

"Don't do anything illegal," Remus called over his shoulder.

"So what's illegal here?" Sirius asked.

"A lot of things."

"I'd like a demonstration."

"Freak," Rachel muttered, walking away, shaking her head.

"I like this one," Sirius said to himself, following her.

**WAAAH! ALL TOGETHER POV!!!!!!**

"You do know we start class in, like, five minutes, right?" Lydia asked, effectively interrupting the conversation between Katie and the blonde boy.

"Lydia, meet Lucius. Lucius, meet Lydia." Lydia didn't know why, but she had a bad feeling about this Lucius guy. James seemed a lot nicer. A little weirder (okay, much weirder), but a lot nicer. Remus seemed to have disappeared.

"Uhm… yeah. I'm just gonna go to Charms now. Katie, you coming?"

"Oh. Yeah. Class… right." She turned to Lucius. "Er- bye. You want to eat lunch with my friends and I?"

"Me and my friends," the blonde girl corrected. She was a little snooty, but Lydia had to giver her points for her impeccable grammar. Katie glared.

"I wasn't talking to you. 'My friends and I,' 'me and my friends,' I don't think it really matters either way."

Lucius smiled. "Narcissa, leave her alone. I like a girl with a little feistiness."

Katie looked ready to faint, and Lydia had to drag her off to Charms.

"What are you looking at, Potter?" Lydia heard from behind her. She pushed Katie towards the Charms classroom and paused, straining to hear the rest of the conversation. What did Lucius have against James?

"Nothing, your smarminess," James replied. Lydia pushed past a group of freshmen to get back to the main hall, where the two guys stood about a yard away from each other, wands out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucius asked.

"I saw you with her." I heard quick footsteps behind me, and Katie soon stood next to me, watching the potential duel as well. "You were all over her."

"And? It's not like you have any attachment to her."

"Well… I dunno. It's just that…"

"Oh?" Lucius asked. "Well, two things, Potter. First, I saw her before you did. Second, I don't think Katie would appreciate being used as a temporary replacement for the Mudblood."

"Uhm… I also have two things to say?" Katie said. It was obviously meant as a statement, but came out as more of a question.

"Stay out of this," James said.

"What is it dear?" Lucius said. James was right. He was smarmy.

"Well, first, James technically saw me first. But Lucius has been a lot nicer to me. And… it's not like I'm some prize anyway. I'm not a prize, or a seat."

Sirius and Rachel showed up, the latter appearing much more agitated than the former. "What exactly are we sitting on? Or whom?" Sirius asked.

"Malfoy here is trying to sway Katie over to the dark side."

"Uhm… Star Wars? Is that really appropriate?" Rachel asked.

"Nerd Alert," Lydia muttered.

"What, next you're going to go, 'Katie, I am your father'?" Katie asked. "Actually, that would be really, really scary, so I hope not. We couldn't date."

"I don't know what Star Wars is, but we're not talking about it. The Death Eaters. You-Know-Who. You know."

"Three things," Rachel said. "What the hell is a Death Eater, I don't know who, and… is this some sort of crazy British tradition?"

"What? You honestly don't know who You-Know-Who is?" Remus said. Lydia wondered where he'd come from.

"If we knew, we wouldn't say we didn't know, right?" Lydia replied.

"You-Know-Who is a sadistic bastard intent on killing everyone that doesn't support Pureblood supremacy," Sirius said quickly.

"He is not a bastard," Lucius said. "He wants to create an empire. A beautiful, pure, empire."

"Sounds kinda like Hitler to me," Lydia said, shaking her head.

"Sounds like Hitler to me, too," Rachel added.

"And Hitler is…" Sirius asked, trailing off.

"A sadistic bastard intent on killing all the Jews and minorities. He also wanted to create a 'beautiful and pure empire,'" Lydia said, filling the British in.

"They do sound similar."

"Yes, they do," Rachel said.

"Wait. You-Know-Who. Is he the same as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Lydia asked, staring at a certain section of the wall, index finger up.

"That's what some of the older people call him," James replied.

"And his respectful followers," Lucius added.

"Lord Voldemort. That's his name, isn't it?"

"I thought you didn't know it," Remus said. "Most people don't say it, anyways."

"I still have no idea," Rachel said, shaking her head again. Sirius tried to pat her on the back, but Rachel shoved him off and gave him an obscene hand gesture.

"Well, all in all, Lucius has been the nicest to me, and a beautiful, pure, nation seems pretty nice to me."

"What?" James demanded.

"She doesn't know what we're talking about," Rachel said.

"She thinks we're talking about pollution," Lydia added.

"Are we not?" Katie asked.

"Yes, we are," Lucius replied smoothly.

"That's it!" James yelled. "Sectumsempra!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Katie exclaimed. "He cares about the environment, which is obviously more than you can say!"

Narcissa and Bellatrix quickly healed Lucius with a set of spells.

"He wasn't talking about the environment, Katie!" Lydia said loudly. "Lord Voldemort wants to kill off all the Muggleborns, Halfbloods, and everyone who doesn't support Pureblood supremacy. Or did you miss when Sirius explained that five fucking minutes ago?"

"Well, yes, I did, mostly because I was wondering why suddenly everybody stopped fighting over me."

"This isn't about you at all," James said. Katie's mouth dropped open, and she stormed off to class, muttering obscenities along the way.

"Really, mate," Sirius said. "You should not have said that."

"Sorry, James. I know you're better than Lucius," Lydia said, "but that was a really harsh thing to tell her. I'll see you guys later. Maybe at lunch?" She left to go to class, jogging so as not to be too late.

"Narcissa, Bellatrix, we should leave," Lucius said. "Potions, correct?" They nodded and left in the opposite direction. Remus and Rachel left in the same direction as Katie and Lydia, while James and Sirius sulked off in a completely different direction, to Transfiguration, apparently.

"He didn't mean what he said, Katie," Lydia said.

"I don't care."

"He really didn't," Remus added. "He would never actually intentionally say something mean to you."

Katie snorted. "Intentionally."

"Well, we know you're a Pureblood," Remus said. When Katie raised her eyebrows, he continued. "You're stubborn enough."

She acted miffed and suddenly became extremely interested in the lecture.

"Katie, you never pay attention. You always mooch notes off of me. Why are you even pretending?"

"I'm being angry. And you don't know that I don't pay attention."

"I know I don't," Rachel supplied. "I admit I steal Lydia's notes."

"You steal my- it's you that's been doing that?" Lydia asked, fuming mad.

Rachel shrugged. "Well, it's not like I'd ever write my own."

"You really are just like us," Remus said, stunned by the situational resemblance, but nobody heard him. They were too busy bickering amongst themselves. "You really are…"

"Katie, Rachel, Lydia. Would you like to share what you find so interesting?"

"No, we're good," Katie said.

"Yeah, I'm with her," Rachel added.

"Thrice," Lydia said.

"Well, since you're both with her, you can go to detention with her."

"Ma'am, are you aware that my mother could have you fired?" Katie asked politely. "Because I was sure you were."

"Well, yes, but… last chance."

Lydia leaned over to tell Remus, "This is our twenty-eighth last chance this year."

Remus was confused. "But you've only been here a day and a half."

Rachel grinned ear to ear. "Well, when you're friends with me, last chances tend to come quickly. Anyways, it's not my fault the teachers are evil."

"The teachers aren't evil," Katie said, "you're just a demon child from hell."

"And I take pride in this fact," she said as though this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You sound just like Sirius right now," Remus said. "And you're like James, egging on like that," he said, gesturing towards Katie.

"And me?" Lydia asked.

"Kind of like me, just watching and analyzing and trying to figure out what the hell you did to get friends like these."

"Wow, he is your soul mate," Katie said. Both Lydia and Remus turned a deep shade of red and became very busy shuffling their papers. "Like I said, they're soul mates." Rachel nodded.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" James muttered.

"Think positive, mate," Sirius said.

"I'm an idiot!"

"No, you're not. Think positive!"

"How can I think positive when the love of my life thinks I'm an asshole?"

"Relax. You've spoken what, three sentences to her? There are plenty of other fish in the sea."

"We're not near a sea, you ass," James growled.

"You're being negative again. You should stop. You've been doing this all through class. Isn't it the slightest bit boring?"

"Well, I guess it is a little boring," James said, shrugging.

"You two in the back! New students!"

"Yes, ma'am?" Sirius said without looking up.

"I'm a man."

"Oh, shit," he muttered.

"I'm sorry," James said politely. "We were just looking for a fresh piece of parchment- I mean paper- so I could continue my notes. Sirius took the last piece, and I was trying to get it from him."

"Don't let me catch you squabbling in class again."

"Yes, sir," Sirius said loudly. "We won't let you catch us," he muttered.

The bell rang dismissing the sophomores to lunch, and Sirius turned to James. "You should sit with Katie today. It'll be… romantic."

"Oh, yeah," Rachel said, catching up to them in the hallway. "Chicken nuggets and tater tots. Real romantic."

"Told you she'd be back," Sirius said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She shoved him off.

"We're going to the same place, you idiotic pervert."

She stormed off, but Sirius just smiled after her. "She wants me."

"Sure she does, mate," James said. "Sure she does."

"Hey, Katie. We should all sit together. You, me, Rachel, and the boys. Besides Lucius and his little Death Eater friends. I don't think James really meant what he said," Lydia said, and Remus nodded.

"All right, I guess," Katie said, and Lydia smiled. Unfortunately, the minute Katie bought her lunch, she spotted Lucius and ditched Remus and Lydia for him.

"Well, this sucks," Remus said.

"Agreed. Let's find Sirius and James."

"What about Rachel?"

"I see her. She's over there with the Drama geeks. Nerd."

"You're one to talk."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black, Remus old man."

"I'm not old. I'm fifteen."

"Well, I'm fourteen. So there."

"You're only fourteen?"

I sighed. "I skipped a grade because of my higher level of intelligence."

"Really? No kidding?"

"Yes, really." I smiled a bright, cheesy fake smile and quickly dropped it. Katie was heading back towards us.

"What's wrong?" I knew she wouldn't just return for no reason.

"I'm sitting with them for the entire lunch period."

"Oh. Okay."

"Bye!"

James and Sirius walked up to the table. "I am so screwed," James said.

"I knew she'd come around," Sirius said, grinning widely.

"Not like that, you idiot."

"Just trying to—"

"I know, I know. Think positive."

It was certainly not a very fun lunch.

"So, do you like, um, er, have any pets?" Katie asked, not knowing what else to say. Narcissa rolled her eyes at the mere mention of Lucius taking care of an animal.

"No," he said shortly, and Katie frowned. "But I'm open to the idea," he said, effectively covering his tracks.

Bellatrix snorted. "Like you would ever have a pet that long without killing it-" she jumped as Lucius kicked her under the table. "...by smothering it with love?"

Katie smiled. "That's so sweet." Lucius scooted a seat over to get closer to her.

"So, what kind of animals do you like?" Lucius asked.

"Guinea pigs, bunnies, canaries. And _peacocks_! I like peacocks."

"Oh, really?" Lucius said, not really knowing how else to respond.

"Did you know Lucius's family has a peacock farm?" Bellatrix asked, flipping a strand of hair back.

"They do?" Lucius asked, eyes wide.

"Really?" Katie asked excitedly.

"I mean, of course they do," Lucius replied demurely. Bellatrix giggled (or laughed maniacally, depending on how you took that noise).

"If you come back to Britain with me, you can see it," Lucius said, and slipped an arm around Katie. She shrugged it off gently and scooted a seat away.

Lucius frowned. Why was she scooting away?

James continued to bash his head into the table until Coach Woods came over and told him that if he didn't stop it, he'd get a detention. James stopped until Woods was out of sight, then continued.

"James," Lydia said sharply, and he looked up. "Stop. It. Now."

"Bloody hell, you don't have to be so mean."

"Don't take it personally," Rachel said. "She's mean to all of us." Lydia punched her in the arm. "Ow!" Rachel punched Lydia's arm back, and they had a mini-punch war.

Coach Woods approached again. "Gleaves, Dufresne. Detention if you don't stop." Unlike James, they did not stop. "Detention, girls."

"Ah, Woods, you wouldn't do that," Rachel said, smiling broadly.

"Yes, I would."

"This doesn't work as well without Katie here," Lydia murmured quietly, and sighed. "Coach Woods," she said in a tone a little higher than usual, "I'm sure our friend Katie Collins wouldn't appreciate her best friends getting detention for a little something like this."

"Yeah," Rachel said, catching on, "Katie might tell her parents about it."

"About what? You girls carry on," he said, and walked away.

James sat up, and once Woods was out of earshot, said, "WTF?" Remus snorted. "What?"

"Really? You're going to say that and expect not to be made fun of?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, what's so bad about that?"

"Only the fact that it makes you sound like a faggot," Sirius said, snickering.

"James, you do sound rather faggoty," Rachel said.

"Faggoty you are," Lydia added.

"Well, look on the bright side, mate," Sirius said, trying to console James. "Apparently Katie finds faggots rather attractive. I mean, she seems to fancy Lucy."

They looked at the table where Katie was sitting. When Lucius tried to put his arm around her, she shrugged him off and scooted away from him.

"Or... apparently not," Rachel said, and took a deep sip of her chocolate milk.

"Enough about faggots," Remus said. "Why do they always let you get away with things when you bring up Katie's parents?"

"Well, the little funding that Harpeth gets comes from the Collins," Lydia said. "They're what most people would call filthy stinking rich."

"But we call them filthy squeaky-clean rich. They're too good to be dirty," Rachel said.

"That was really clever," Sirius piped up, and those around the table rolled their eyes.

There was a high-pitched scream Lydia and Rachel recognized as Katie's, and they stood up and rushed over to her table, where she was huddled in a ball in her seat, hands over her head. Immediately, Lydia pulled a hand mirror from her purse, and Rachel supplied a brush.

Bellatrix seemed somewhat startled. "Which one of you did it?" Lydia asked sharply, glaring. Narcissa pointed towards Bellatrix, eyes wide.

"Did you touch her hair?" Rachel asked, handing Katie the brush as she peered, wide-eyed and frightened, into the mirror. Katie started attacking her with the brush.

Bellatrix nodded, jaw dropped. "You really should know better," Rachel scoffed. "It's general knowledge that you _do not touch_ her hair. _No touchy_. Comprehende?"

"Er. Yeah," Bellatrix replied. "Got it."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my good friends AngelInBetween and EmberBlack. They cameo as Katie and Rachel, respectively. I mean, really. We had a sleepover and wrote this all together XD Well, the first chapter. This is just me and Katie, so there will likely be a lot of Rachel-bashing. Anyways, on with the chappy and disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer: Hahaha. Do I even have to tell you I don't own this shit? I don't. Meh.**

After Katie's hair 'incident,' she refused to go within fifty feet of Bellatrix, effectively keeping Katie away from Lucius for a long time. Occasionally, the group of Slytherins would approach her, but she would just strut off and start talking to Lydia, Rachel, or one of the other exchange students.

"Good morning, we have some morning announcements," Cole Liles said over the intercom. Lydia was perfectly in sync with him on the last few words, having heard it daily all through freshman year and for the past few days of sophomore year.

"Happy birthday to Isa Richards, from your mommy?" Cole said reluctantly, and one of the guys in Lydia's Advanced Ancient Runes class, Jack Barchet, guffawed. She chuckled along with the rest of the class as Isa turned bright red. (His birthday was in December. Jack had just told the office it was that day.)

"Hey, Lydia, what was the homework last night?" Remus asked, patting her shoulder.

Lydia turned to face him. "Um, here's the sheet I wrote it on," she said, and passed him a sheet of notebook paper. It had the homework assignment, but with a number of doodles around it, most of which featured numerous hearts and one was even an animated picture of two figures kissing. He raised his eyebrows at the drawings.

She blushed a deep shade of red, and hastily grabbed it back.

Remus grinned.

"What are you smiling about?" Lydia huffed.

"Just another chance to tease you," he said, grinning. Lydia pursed her lips and started taking notes on Mrs. McKnight's lecture, and he wondered what he'd said to get that reaction

"Rachel, have you noticed that Remus and Lydia seem a little... extra-friendly around each other lately?" Sirius asked, watching the two converse about Ancient Runes (Remus had been long forgiven for his unintentional offense in class).

She tilted her head to the side in thought. "Yeah, I guess they have been. I think they like each other."

"Well, that much is obvious," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. She punched him in the arm. "Oi! Violence!"

Rachel just stuck her tongue out at him. "We should come up with a plan to get them together."

"Love, for a chance to work with you, I'd make a plan to kill You-Know-Who himself."

"If you don't stop with that crap, I will physically injure you."

"Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie. Katie."

"What the hell do you want?" Katie demanded. "You've just been repeating my name for the last five minutes! God, you're even worse than Tyler was! Stop!"

James pouted. "Sorry. I just wanted to tell you that you have a hair out of place. Thought you should know."

"Well, that was nice of you- what?! Holy shit, where's a mirror? Someone hand me a mirror!"

He summoned a mirror from thin air and handed it to her, smiling wryly.

"Oh, thank you!" Katie said in what James would consider an adorable tone. He watched as she checked over her hair in the mirror. "You liar. My hair looks perfect!"

"No, there's this one," James said, and purposefully moved a strand out of place. When she checked the mirror, she smiled widely at him (thinking that he had just pointed out one she had missed).

"Thanks," she said, and fixed it back.

Lily Evans, despite what she had told her friends back home, was just a little concerned. James Potter hadn't bothered her in a long time. Was he ill or something? Not that she would care if he was, she just... kinda cared. And missed the attention more than a bit.

Trapped in her own thoughts, Lily didn't see the boy in front of her until it was too late. They collided with each other, and both sets of books went flying everywhere. When she looked up, her eyes met those of- speak of the devil, and the devil will come- James himself.

"Hi, Lily," he said, as usual- but it was different from the normal greeting. It was missing a certain something.

"Hi, Potter."

As they picked up their books, they chatted about what classes they were taking, what new friends they'd made- and James didn't make a single move to flirt with her. Was this some new tactic he was trying out? Well, it wasn't going to work on Lily. She'd ignored him for the past four years, she could ignore him now.

"James, why are you on the floor?" asked a rather amused feminine voice from down the hall. James chuckled and stood up, and Lily wondered if this was his girlfriend.

"Nothing to worry about, Lydia. I was just helping Lily pick up her books. I ran into her," he added.

"Oh. I was afraid you'd gotten even weirder all of a sudden. Well, you'd better hurry up. You don't have much time before the bell-" the bell rang. "Shit. I gotta get going. See you in Transfiguration."

"See you!" James called out, returning to sorting out the books.

"Who was that?" Lily asked, barely managing to contain her jealousy.

"My friend Lydia. I think her and Remus have a thing going on."

"They're dating?" Lily asked politely, barely masking the relief.

"Well, no. But the rest of us are convinced they both like each other."

"Oh. Well, thanks for helping me pick up my books. You didn't have to, I ran into you."

James shrugged. "It's fine. I'd better get to class. See you later."

He was gone before she even had a chance to reply. If this was another one of his tactics, it was definitely working. _Not working_.

"Hey, you two lovebirds," Sirius said jokingly, and Remus and Lydia turned slight variations of the same shade of pinkish-reddish. "What are we talking about?"

"Nothing much," Lydia said shortly.

"Oh, really?" Sirius asked.

Rachel snorted. "Sirius, leave them alone," she said sagely. "If they don't want to admit they want to snog each other senseless, then that's their problem."

Remus rolled his eyes. "I can think of a pair that needs to admit they like each other."

"So you admit it!" Sirius yelled, and a few people passing Lydia and Rachel's locker glared at them.

"I was talking about you, stupid."

"Sure you were!"

"Prongsy!" Rachel yelled.

James jogged up. "Don't call me that."

"Why not?" Rachel pouted. "Oh, right. I forgot. Only Katie can call you that, right?" she said, elbowing James.

"Exactly."

There was silence for a moment, then Sirius did the 'awkward turtle' sign.

Lydia dropped a book to the floor. "Ah, shit!"

"Language, love," Remus said.

"What the fuck?" Rachel asked. Again, silence. Again, Sirius made the 'awkward turtle' sign.

Lydia threw a book at Remus, who adeptly caught it. "Here, hold this. I need to- shit!"

"Well, there's a loo right down the hall," James said.

"Shut up. I need to get a- ah, fuck."

"I would offer to help, but I'm a man on a mission," Sirius said.

Lydia slapped her forehead. "Ugh, fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I forgot to ask for that ETS slip from Ms. Bates."

"Ask. I'm on a mission," Sirius said. "Right. Rachel, you need to go somewhere with me, but I honestly have no idea where. I forgot, see."

"There's a janitors' closet somewhere around here," James said, over the sound of more swears from Lydia.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You really need to stop trying to be helpful, James."

"Why?"

"You're not doing a very good job," Rachel said. She looked back to Sirius, who was miming dancing (doing an extremely bad rendition of East Coast Swing, to be specific). "Homecoming?"

"Yes, I'd love to go to homecoming with you!"

"Well, crap. I guess this is acceptable, though. Better than being stuck with a party pooper like Remus over there, for sure."

"I am not a party pooper. I just don't get drunk every chance I get like you lot do."

"Are you implying that that's a bad thing?" Sirius asked.

"Well, no shit," Rachel said, eyebrows raised. "Of course it's a bad thing!"

"Oh. Well, if you say so."

"Yes. I say so. And since you're my date, you have to listen to me."

"Right. Like that will happen."

As those two continued to bicker, James smiled devilishly at Remus. "Now that those two are together, that means you have to ask Lydia, and I'll ask Katie."

Remus turned a bright shade of red, as did Lydia. "Oh, honestly," James said. "Do I need to do this _for_ you?" He apparently took their silence as a confirmation.

"Lydia, would you like to go to Homecoming with Remy here?" Lydia, eyes narrowed, nodded slightly.

"Sure," she said, meeting Remus' eyes now.

"Remus, would you like the privelege of going to Homecoming with dear Lyddie-"

"Don't call me that," Lydia said sourly.

"Fine," James said, "with Lydia?"

Remus nodded shortly.

"Glad you two are all set up," said James. "Now I just need to execute the final stage in my plan." Before either member of the newest couple could ask what the _hell _he meant by that, he scurried off. "You have about thirty seconds before the bell rings!"

Lydia swore (again) before extracting her textbook and binder from her locker and rushing off to her next class, leaving Remus to wonder what just happened, jogging to class.


End file.
